I find I'm moving to the rhythms of your grace

Hello everyone!


Long time, no blog!


So, the past couple weeks have been FILLED with work and activities and running around and community time and ups and downs and everything in between. It's been a crazy rollercoaster, but I'm happy to say I've survived thus far!

Work has been great! So much to do, sometimes I feel like I don't get anything fully accomplished during the day, but it's really fun and my coworkers have been great. And little by little, I've gotten more and more interaction with the teens, which has been overall very positive. They have been very sweet and friendly, and some of them are even starting to remember my name now! And MAN those babies are cute. However, I can really foresee how this job is going to be challenging - sometimes I have experienced situations where I think "How do you help people who don't want to be helped?". But I feel excited to tackle whatever challenges come up!

I had my first official youth group last Thursday, which was... alright. Only because I wasn't really prepared the day before because I had been told I had to do a training on Thursday evening and couldn't even be at my own youth group meeting. However, on Thursday evening I found out that the training was the next Thursday, so I could still have youth group. Anyway, I ended up renting the movie "The Last Song," buying some delicious snacks, and scrambled around and invited every one of the moms that I saw. I didn't really mind not having anything prepared, though, because really I just want to get to know the girls. Anywho... one girl came. Just one. Which was fine, because I got to chat with her a little bit (yes, we did introductions, just the two of us), and then we watched most of the movie together and ate snacks. It was fun and not stressful or anything - hopefully next week will be a little more structured, but just as relaxed. But I don't feel discouraged - I'm so happy that she came. She was so sweet, and we prayed together before I left. Nothing profound, but just silly and relaxing and fun. I'm really excited to get to actually have a youth gruop where I can get to know more than one girl at a deeper level. I know it will most likely take a while, but I'm excited to open up the space for them. Because, this is why I'm doing this work - for them. If I don't give them that space to reflect, who else will?

Also, our community went out last Friday night and had so much fun! Probably the most fun since I've been here. We went on the "Pub Run" which happens in downtown San Antonio on the first Friday of every month. And, yes, it's exactly what it sounds like: hundreds of people gather at a certain pub, spend about 20-30 minutes there, have a drink, and then run to the next one and do the same thing. There are 5 pubs on the run, and the entire thing is about 5 miles. Hysterical to see hundreds of people running through downtown! And even though I almost passed out (from running, not drinking!), it was so much fun and we met a ridiculous amount of San Antonians!

One other update: I sang in the choir at our church on Sunday! It was definitely interesting. It's very random and not very organized, and there's hardly any preparation. But it was SO great to sing - I did not even realize how much I missed it. And even though it pales in comparison to Founders (the chapel choir at USD), I still think I'm going to try and do it every week.

Anyway, still missing everyone so much. Still fighting homesickness, but I know it's because I am so incredibly spoiled and blessed with the beautiful people in my life, both my family and friends. Though this experience is incredibly challenging, I know it's where I am supposed to be (even when sometimes it doesn't seem like it). I know it's important for me to experience God in a place of discomfort, in order to grow in that relationship and to learn so much more about myself. I have already experienced God's presence in a place where I was surrounded by constant support, affirmation, and love - now it's my challenge to maintain and grow in my relationship with God in a place that's not as easy. I know it's going to be hard and I have not always been as optimistic as this sounds now, but I know in my heart that I am supposed to be here and that I can do this.

Anyway, that's all for now!

Loving and praying for all of you - all the way from Texas!

Thanks for reading :)

Peace and love,

Kels

P.S. Just a situation I've been reflecting on that I thought I would share:
The other day there was a "situation" happening in one of the residences, and in that case, the entire campus is on lockdown. This means that some of the girls in that residence had to come over to the building I work in, just until the situation was taken care of. These are girls that I don't normally interact with, and so I thought it'd be good to go out and sit with them to try to get to know them. For a while, I was not received well at all. No one really talked to me or looked at me or even acknowledged me when I talked, and then finally I was asked who I was and what I did here at Seton Home. I explained that I'm a volunteer for a year and I'll be leading youth group and before I could finish she said, "You're a VOLUNTEER!? You do this for free!?" And I told her that yes I do this for a really small stipend per month. She was shocked at first, and then asked me, "Do you have any kids?" And I said no. And she said, "Well that's why you can afford to do this, 'cause you don't have any kids." It really made me think about my life prior to this and my purpose here. I mean, she's 100% right. What am I supposed to say to that? It's really strange thinking about this year in terms of that - being able to AFFORD to do this. Most of the time we think of this volunteer year as a sacrifice for us, living a simple lifestyle, giving up the "comforts" we're used to in our previous lives. However, this girl flat out shut me up with that comment. I have never had to think of this experience as a privilege, but when you look at it that way, it totally is. I mean, I can try as hard as I can, but can I really relate to these girls? I'm not a teenager, and when I was a teenager, I didn't have any children, I had a home, I went to school, and I had a loving family. I haven't experienced any abuse, I have never been homeless, I have had an incredibly comfortable life. But maybe that's not my purpose or my place - to relate to these girls. I'm here to help. Not because I'm better in any way, but because they need it. And regardless of if they'll admit it or not, they do need help. Either with finances, managing their emotions, drug addiction, parenting skills, life skills... etc. These girls and their children deserve a happy, fulfilling, comfortable life just as much as I do. So, since I can "afford" to help... I will, in any way that I can. I guess this is representative of the verse, "To whom much has been given, much is expected"... right?

Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

So, I survived my first official week as a JV and have swiftly moved into my second week! Can't believe I'm already here, working and living and well-into this crazy journey.

I wrote this blog entry earlier from (drum roll please) my own desk in my own office! I know, I know, so official. For those of you who don't know, I am spending my volunteer year at the Seton Home, which is a residential facility for homeless teenage girls, both pregnant and parenting, that have chosen to keep their babies. My position falls under the Spirituality Department, and I will be working as the Faith Formation Coordinator. This means that I will be planning and leading youth group meetings for the girls each week (which are optional for them) that provide these teens a weekly time for them to reflect on their experiences and (hopefully) grow in their faith and what they believe. I've realized that my position doesn't require me to have all of these profound answers, but rather to just provide these girls with a space to talk, listen, learn, and reflect. I've already come up with a ton of ideas (mostly inspired by my time in the incredible USD SEARCH community), and I can't wait to see how this year unfolds. I will also be, at times, taking the girls to mass (again, optional and only if they want to go) on Sundays, putting together the monthly newsletter, and accompanying/checking in with new residents as they start their time at Seton Home.

So, my first day was last Wednesday, and for the time being I am getting a ride to work with the former JV who had my position, Mary-Kate, who is awesome and hysterical and now a full-time staff member at Seton Home this year. She has been an incredible resource for me so far, if I've had any questions or problems with anything, she has been right there to help in any way. In the first couple days, the majority of my time was spent walking around, getting acquainted with the campus, meeting the staff, learning all the ins and outs of the organization, and most importantly, meeting the residents and their little ones! It has been very interesting, to say the least. Some of the residents are very warm and friendly and ready to meet new people, but others are, let's just say, less warm and friendly. But that is what I expected, quite frankly. These girls have been through so much in their short lives, and I wouldn't expect them to be anything less than guarded. I just hope that as time goes on, they can start to see me as an ally and someone who wants to listen, rather than a stranger that doesn't care. I've already met and gotten to know a couple girls and their babies, and I have a few favorites already! And for the record, holding a 7month old baby is probably the best stress-reliever ever. Anyway, everyone has been extremely friendly and welcoming, and I am so excited to really get into my job here. It's something so different from what I thought I wanted to do, but I am ready and up for the challenge... I hope!

As far as life at home goes, the Casa G girls have been working really hard - and not just at our jobs! Arriving at our humble abode the first day, we felt a lot of excitement, but coupled with extreme shock at the deteriorating condition of the house. This is going to be our home for a whole year - we want to be proud of the place we live! SO, we have taken every free moment we have (yes, including our entire weekend) and taken matters into our own hands. We have cleaned, organized, dusted, disposed, donated, eliminated clutter, scraped peeling paint off the walls, washed windows, and even mowed the lawn! It has been exhausting and frustrating at times, but we're keeping in mind how much better it will look after we're done! And it's been great bonding for us as we attempt things that we're probably not totally qualified to do (I have never in my life scraped paint, sanded, and spackled an entire room), and it's made for some great dance parties!

We also took a roomie trip downtown to the River Walk to a dance club called Acapulco Sam's on Friday night, which was an insane amount of fun despite it being probably close to a million degrees in there. For a while we were the only ones out there dancing, but we didn't care! It was so great to be out there, all 7 of us, just letting go and having fun after an intense week of work at our agencies AND in our house. I can't wait for us to explore the city some more!

Overall, it has been a wonderfully exhausting couple weeks. I'm definitely still settling in, and I'm realizing more and more about how challenging this experience is. It's not just a JVC year - it's responding to God's call to serve, which has drawn me way out of my comfort zone in all sorts of ways: new city, new responsibilities, new community, new adjustments, new lifestyle. There have been great times so far and also really challenging times when I question my purpose here. However, I am still confident in God's plan for me, and the things that this year has to offer me, both joyful and difficult.

Thanks everyone for your support and love!

Missing everyone so much!

Peace,

Kels

P.S. More pictures!!!

Our Lady of Guadalupe Church!

(our parish church and next-door neighbors!)

CASA G!

Our humble abode :)

MY office at the Seton Home!

HOWDY!

Wow, SO much has happened since I last updated.

I am writing to you all from the beautiful, the historical, and incredibly HOT San Antonio, Texas!

My roommates and I walked across the street to a small, locally-owned, non-profit coffee shop with free WiFi - I couldn't wait to update all of you on what I have been doing!

So, on August 10th I said goodbye to my family and boarded an absurdly early flight from LAX to Pheonix, where I met up with Megan (my good friend from USD who is living in the JVC house also!), and we had a quick layover and boarded our flight to Houston, Texas! We stepped off the plane and just experienced a few seconds of the overwhelming heat and humidity as we walked off the plane to the gate, but that few seconds was definitely enough. We wandered around the HUGE Houston airport (everything's bigger in Texas!) and found the baggage claim, where we proceeded to call parents, friends, and the entire USD University Ministry staff (naturally) to chat and let them know that we got there safely! Once we got our baggage, we headed to a different terminal (by way of a underground train - yes, the airport is that big), and met our first roommate, Laura! Once we set our things down, herds of people started congregating around us! We realized that we're not ridiculously popular, but that all of those people were there for JVC! It was so great and fun to meet so many people, but also pretty overwhelming and tiring. Once all 56 Jesuit Volunteers of the JVC South Region had gathered, we boarded a big yellow school bus (which was not air-conditioned, might I add), and headed to Pinehurst, Texas for our orientation retreat.

Once we arrived, we moved our things into adorable little cabins and started the crazy whirlwind they called orientation. That first night, I have to admit that I had an incredibly rough time. I think that everything hit me all at once, and I realized that I was incredibly homesick. That night, I wrestled with why I traveled halfway across the country to serve, when there are plenty of social issues to deal with back at home, or in San Diego, where I’m with the people I love. But, after some tears, some contemplation, and a lot of prayer, I realized that I was missing the point. And, while it’s okay to be scared of transitions, I realized that this is something that I need to work with God on. And I wasn’t really doing that in my first day, and I wasn’t being as open as I could or should have. Anyway, from then on out, orientation was so much fun! We listened to talks given by various people on the four values: Social Justice, Simplicity, Community, and Spirituality. They were all great and very inspiring, and I feel like I learned so much! The simplicity talk was my favorite, and it really affirmed me in my choice to do JVC. I learned that living simply is not giving up ALL things, but making sure to be intentional in your use of things, and to put people/relationships BEFORE things. I really want to incorporate this idea into the rest of my life, so I’m glad that I have this year to practice! At the end of orientation, we had a beautiful Commissioning Liturgy, which was where we really committed, through mass, to our JVC year. They sang some songs from Founders (the chapel at USD) and I obviously wept through the mass because of that. However, I was quickly comforted by everyone around me, which was such a wonderful feeling, even so far from home. Orientation was filled with beautiful prayers, incredible conversations, exciting challenges, a lot of laughter, and fantastic dance parties! It got me so excited for this year!

On Sunday, the last day of orientation, the 7 girls of our community waved goodbye to all our new JVC friends, and were picked up by Brother Gus (a Jesuit Brother at the parish church attached to our house), and drove 3 1/2 hours to San Antonio. Once we arrived at the house (screaming in excitement, naturally), we almost got to go inside our new home, but were stopped by the flooding of children from the neighborhood coming over to meet the new JV’s! They were followed by Nicholas, one of the JV’s from this previous year, Jose and Margie, Carlos and Pearl, Lee, Fr. Ron and Fr. Marty - all members/employees of the parish church and neighbors of ours! It was amazing to meet our new community, and they were so amazingly welcoming! It almost brought me to tears how wonderful everyone was, and it made me so excited to get to know them better and to become involved in this incredible community. Once we were finished meeting and chatting with the huge group of people that came to meet us, we were finally able to get inside our new home - Casa Guadalupe (or, Casa G, as we call it)! The house is HUGE (an old convent) and, although kind of cluttered, SO amazing! There are 7 of us girls - Megan, Owen, Janine, Kait, Laura, Christina, and myself - and we each get our own bedroom, and then there are 4 bathrooms. Also, we have a huge living room, a nice kitchen, dining room area, and a chapel IN our house, complete with a life-size crucifix! It’s an amazing place, and since we got here we’ve been cleaning and organizing and getting settled in. It’s taken a while since we’ve had hardly any time to ourselves - our days have been filled with people taking us here and there, and bringing us food, and inviting us over for yummy desserts! It’s been an amazing couple of days so far - we’ve even got a tour of each of our agencies, which I will explain in my next blog entry!

A great story to end with:

Late on our first night in Casa G, we were cleaning (as we had been the whole day/night already), and two of us, Janine and Owen, decided to clean the bathroom. They turned on the water in the shower, and, much to our surprise/dismay, the water would not turn off! It was gushing out of the tub faucet and the drain wasn’t draining very well. Needless to say, we needed a solution, AND FAST. We acted quickly and emptied our trash cans to use as buckets, and scooped the water out of the tub, into the sink. We had a sturdy assembly line going, but nothing was stopping and we did not know what to do! You could imagine our panic - we were convinced the house was going to flood on the first night here - how embarrassing! We tried to get a hold of Fr. Marty, Bro. Gus, or the janitor, and finally all three responded and came over, and had to shut off all of our water. Thankfully, we had saved some water in other buckets that we could use for washing our face and brushing our teeth, so it wasn’t a huge deal. And the shower was fixed in the morning! Phew. We laughed the whole way through AND took pictures and videos in the midst of the crisis. We figured that we got the emergency out of the way, and if we ever have another one, we’re 100% prepared!

Anyway, I will update more later in the next couple days, but we all have our first day of work tomorrow, which should provide me with a lot more updates! I’m so nervous, but also incredibly excited!

Thank you everyone for your support, love, and prayers. I have needed it during this difficult, but beautiful, transition!

Shout out to my other JVC best friends, and my family and friends at home, and everyone at USD!

Love, peace, and prayers,

Kelsey

P.S. Pictures!

Just got to the airport! Megan and I say HOWDY Texas!

Circle Lake Retreat Center - beautiful!

Mary's Garden at Circle lake

Our cabins at orientation!

Just arrived at our new house, Casa G!

All my roommates and Brother Gus :)

Don't worry, if there's an emergency, the girls of Casa G have it covered!

Only a few days now...

So, I am only a few days away from embarking on this crazy journey. And, quite frankly, the feeling most evident to me right now is fear. I know that I have nothing to worry about, that this experience is going to be one of a kind and life-changing (in a good way), and that I am going to have an incredible experience... but there is also a lot of unknown which really freaks me out. What if I don't like Texas? What if I'm not good at my job? What if my housemates don't like me? All questions running through my head, though I know they're kind of silly. Oh, well.

Also: my best friends start their orientation tomorrow. You know who you are. I LOVE YOU ALL and I'm praying for you constantly. I am so proud of each of you, and I can't wait until we can all catch up.

More updates to come in the next couple days as I pack up to jump right into this new experience!

Peace,

Kels