I find I'm moving to the rhythms of your grace

Hello everyone!


Long time, no blog!


So, the past couple weeks have been FILLED with work and activities and running around and community time and ups and downs and everything in between. It's been a crazy rollercoaster, but I'm happy to say I've survived thus far!

Work has been great! So much to do, sometimes I feel like I don't get anything fully accomplished during the day, but it's really fun and my coworkers have been great. And little by little, I've gotten more and more interaction with the teens, which has been overall very positive. They have been very sweet and friendly, and some of them are even starting to remember my name now! And MAN those babies are cute. However, I can really foresee how this job is going to be challenging - sometimes I have experienced situations where I think "How do you help people who don't want to be helped?". But I feel excited to tackle whatever challenges come up!

I had my first official youth group last Thursday, which was... alright. Only because I wasn't really prepared the day before because I had been told I had to do a training on Thursday evening and couldn't even be at my own youth group meeting. However, on Thursday evening I found out that the training was the next Thursday, so I could still have youth group. Anyway, I ended up renting the movie "The Last Song," buying some delicious snacks, and scrambled around and invited every one of the moms that I saw. I didn't really mind not having anything prepared, though, because really I just want to get to know the girls. Anywho... one girl came. Just one. Which was fine, because I got to chat with her a little bit (yes, we did introductions, just the two of us), and then we watched most of the movie together and ate snacks. It was fun and not stressful or anything - hopefully next week will be a little more structured, but just as relaxed. But I don't feel discouraged - I'm so happy that she came. She was so sweet, and we prayed together before I left. Nothing profound, but just silly and relaxing and fun. I'm really excited to get to actually have a youth gruop where I can get to know more than one girl at a deeper level. I know it will most likely take a while, but I'm excited to open up the space for them. Because, this is why I'm doing this work - for them. If I don't give them that space to reflect, who else will?

Also, our community went out last Friday night and had so much fun! Probably the most fun since I've been here. We went on the "Pub Run" which happens in downtown San Antonio on the first Friday of every month. And, yes, it's exactly what it sounds like: hundreds of people gather at a certain pub, spend about 20-30 minutes there, have a drink, and then run to the next one and do the same thing. There are 5 pubs on the run, and the entire thing is about 5 miles. Hysterical to see hundreds of people running through downtown! And even though I almost passed out (from running, not drinking!), it was so much fun and we met a ridiculous amount of San Antonians!

One other update: I sang in the choir at our church on Sunday! It was definitely interesting. It's very random and not very organized, and there's hardly any preparation. But it was SO great to sing - I did not even realize how much I missed it. And even though it pales in comparison to Founders (the chapel choir at USD), I still think I'm going to try and do it every week.

Anyway, still missing everyone so much. Still fighting homesickness, but I know it's because I am so incredibly spoiled and blessed with the beautiful people in my life, both my family and friends. Though this experience is incredibly challenging, I know it's where I am supposed to be (even when sometimes it doesn't seem like it). I know it's important for me to experience God in a place of discomfort, in order to grow in that relationship and to learn so much more about myself. I have already experienced God's presence in a place where I was surrounded by constant support, affirmation, and love - now it's my challenge to maintain and grow in my relationship with God in a place that's not as easy. I know it's going to be hard and I have not always been as optimistic as this sounds now, but I know in my heart that I am supposed to be here and that I can do this.

Anyway, that's all for now!

Loving and praying for all of you - all the way from Texas!

Thanks for reading :)

Peace and love,

Kels

P.S. Just a situation I've been reflecting on that I thought I would share:
The other day there was a "situation" happening in one of the residences, and in that case, the entire campus is on lockdown. This means that some of the girls in that residence had to come over to the building I work in, just until the situation was taken care of. These are girls that I don't normally interact with, and so I thought it'd be good to go out and sit with them to try to get to know them. For a while, I was not received well at all. No one really talked to me or looked at me or even acknowledged me when I talked, and then finally I was asked who I was and what I did here at Seton Home. I explained that I'm a volunteer for a year and I'll be leading youth group and before I could finish she said, "You're a VOLUNTEER!? You do this for free!?" And I told her that yes I do this for a really small stipend per month. She was shocked at first, and then asked me, "Do you have any kids?" And I said no. And she said, "Well that's why you can afford to do this, 'cause you don't have any kids." It really made me think about my life prior to this and my purpose here. I mean, she's 100% right. What am I supposed to say to that? It's really strange thinking about this year in terms of that - being able to AFFORD to do this. Most of the time we think of this volunteer year as a sacrifice for us, living a simple lifestyle, giving up the "comforts" we're used to in our previous lives. However, this girl flat out shut me up with that comment. I have never had to think of this experience as a privilege, but when you look at it that way, it totally is. I mean, I can try as hard as I can, but can I really relate to these girls? I'm not a teenager, and when I was a teenager, I didn't have any children, I had a home, I went to school, and I had a loving family. I haven't experienced any abuse, I have never been homeless, I have had an incredibly comfortable life. But maybe that's not my purpose or my place - to relate to these girls. I'm here to help. Not because I'm better in any way, but because they need it. And regardless of if they'll admit it or not, they do need help. Either with finances, managing their emotions, drug addiction, parenting skills, life skills... etc. These girls and their children deserve a happy, fulfilling, comfortable life just as much as I do. So, since I can "afford" to help... I will, in any way that I can. I guess this is representative of the verse, "To whom much has been given, much is expected"... right?