And I might still cry, and I might still bleed, and I might still crash... but I still believe.

So, it's about 4 days until I head home for Christmas! Thus, I can hardly focus on anything but being with my family and friends, and getting some time to recuperate and refocus. I feel myself dragging my feet and struggling to complete anything or do anything 100%... which is frustrating. So, while I'm fighting the stress of Christmas presents on a stipend and how that's going to work... I think this break is coming at a good time.

This past weekend, my roommates and I roadtripped first to Houston, Texas, and stayed the night with the other Jesuit Volunteers, and then drove 6 more hours east to New Orleans! I can't tell you how good it felt to be back there. The spirit of that city is something else. Kait, Janine, Laura, and myself walked around the French Quarter, chowed down on PoBoy sandwiches, inhaled delicious coffee and beignets from Cafe du Monde, and then spent the night out with the New Orleans Jesuit Volunteers (who are awesome, by the way). We had a great time! But that's not all. The next day, we all (our community and the New Orleans communities) all drove to Mobile, Alabama for the JVC South Christmas party! We met up with two of our other roommates, Christina and Owen, and most of the other Jesuit Volunteer communities in the South region! It was incredible to reconnect with all of the people I had met at orientation and to see how their experience is going. The next morning we all piled in the car and drove 11 hours home to San Anton! Overall, great weekend of many laughs, many miles, and many new friendships.

Last night, we had our last youth group for the year. We watched The Nativity Story, and then talked about what it was all about. It was so powerful for me to watch it with the girls, because they have such a strong connection with Mary and her life. I explained to them that connection they have with Mary, since she was about their age (roughly) when she was pregnant with and gave birth to Jesus. They were shocked! "Miss Kelsey, I thought she was in her 20's or something!" I think it was powerful for them, too, to see such a brave and faith-filled person that had been where they've been. I can't say it enough: I am consistently impressed and inspired by these girls. They are such a beautiful representation of Mary in my life and all of her qualities that I would like to emulate. They are so brave, and, despite fear, doubt, and trauma, they said "Yes" to something that required so much responsibility and sacrifice, sometimes much more than they could afford. And, yet, they accept this challenge in a very real way - with fear and uncertainty, but with courage and love. They have shown me the ways in which I would like to be like Mary in my life much more than any book, Bible verse, or reflection ever has.


Also, yesterday as I was holding a baby of one of the girls while she cleaned her room, she told me, "Miss Kelsey, you should have a kid. You look like you're ready to be a mom."

Sweet? Frightening? ...still not sure.