The show goes on

Hi y'all!

Boy has it been a whirlwind these past couple months!

Working in Spirituality, I've found that your schedule is really determined by the Church seasons. That being said, Lent was incredibly busy. I took it upon myself to put together a Lent Retreat for the girls and staff at Seton Home, much like the Lenten Retreat I participated in at USD. It included weekly meetings with me, and was centered around the themes of Lent, but really determined by them and what they were looking to focus on in their spiritual life. I can't explain the ways in which I was inspired by the girls and the staff. People's honest reflections and prayers were mind-blowing.

The past few weeks have been FILLED with a million different things. Paula (one of my best friends from USD) came out to visit for a second time! I know, I know, she's a rockstar. We had SUCH a great time! Now that I'm more adjusted here in San Anton (more so than the last time she visited), I was able to really take her around and show her all of my favorite places. She came to youth group, lunch with Brother Gus... we even visited Austin and ate at the most incredible cafe! It was exactly what I needed, in so many ways. Then, none other than the most fantastic woman in the world came to visit... that's right, you guessed it... MY MOM! Spending my birthday and Easter with her, and showing her around the life I've created here in the past 9 months, was beyond words. I had missed her so much, and it was so hard to drop her off at the airport this past Monday. Especially with my ever-present struggles with community, I dreaded dropping her off and going back to the everyday.

Speaking of community struggles... yes, they're still there. I'm sorry to bore you all with what seems like the same old stories, over and over again. However, unfortunately or fortunately (however you may see it) I may have come to a tipping point as of recently. What started this tipping point was my birthday two weekends ago. I don't see my birthday as the most important day of the year, but it IS important to ME. Long story short, on my birthday, most of my roommates were either out of town, out with their boyfriend, or just not really around. Mind you, my mom was in town, so at least I had her to be with, but my feelings were really hurt by my roommates. I felt like the day wasn't even acknowledged. (Now, as I type this, I feel like I sound incredibly whiny and selfish and petty, but I know that there was also a lot of built-up frustrations prior to my birthday) BUT, that's not to ignore the people who DID acknowledge and celebrate my birthday with me! That being my wonderful roommates Megan, Laura, Kait, and Christina, my mom, my grandma and aunt (who drove in from Houston!), Mary Kate, Nicholas (former volunteer from last year who was visiting), and all of my coworkers who showered me with lunches, cards, and fun outings the week after. AND all of the love I received from people from home was overwhelming. I definitely do not deserve the incredibly immense amount of love that I received that week - I will never be able to fully express all of my gratitude for each one of you.

Another exciting update is that I just returned home from a SILENT retreat! Last week, all of the JV communities in Texas gathered in Baton Rouge, LA, for a four day retreat. Almost three of those days were spent in silence! Though I was mildly apprehensive at first, I was more than ready for a break. I can't tell you how much I looked forward to a break from talking AND listening... at least for a few days. The retreat provided us with a lot of free time to do what we wanted, silently. There were opportunities for talking, like daily mass and meetings with our assigned spiritual director, but mostly it was up to each one of us how we made our retreat. Even meals were eaten in silence! The first day I spent more hours asleep than I did awake. I took THREE (yep, count them, THREE) naps - I clearly needed the rest. The second day I actually saw the light of day... because it was a breathtakingly beautiful day. I sat outside for 4 hours, just reading and enjoying nature. My time with my spiritual director (who's name is Jan and she was FANTASTIC) was focused around the theme of reconnecting with God and self-care. Though we only really scratched the surface on the spiritual struggles I've felt this year, Jan gave me an activity in which I wrote out a conversation with God... using different colors for me and for God. The activity allowed me to let out my frustrations, ask my questions, and express gratitude to God, and then just listen. Though I didn't get solutions, I received some consolation from the answers I felt. Jan affirmed me in my struggles with my faith, with feeling God, with how to emulate Jesus in trying community situations, and with the Church. The most incredible part of the retreat, however, was our Peace Prayer Vigil, in which we all signed up for 1-hour time slots throughout the night, and had a 12 hour prayer vigil. Each hour focused on a specific social issue (ex: homelessness, people who have been abused, war, etc.), and there were prayer journals to write in and a prayer cloth on which we all wrote our favorite peace quotes and images. The most amazing part, however, was reading all of the prayer journal entries from former volunteers from years past! It was overwhelming how powerful the presence of God was in that room and through those journals. I felt as though they were all IN that room with me, praying with me, and helping me sustain the hope that peace is possible. The retreat gave me the gift of time, and the opportunity to just... be. I really needed it, and, to be honest, I'm still craving that alone time now. The retreat also (as most retreats in my life have done) affirmed me and reminded me that I am loved and appreciated. At one point, I thought to myself "Just when you think you're not making a difference... you get affirmation that you are... in at least one small way... thanks, God." I honestly wish the retreat had been a few days longer.

From the retreat, 5 of us roommates drove 8 hours to Atlanta! (I know, I know... are we crazy!? YES!) We went to visit the volunteer community there and to explore a new city! It was fantastic to see the volunteers - they're another house of 7 girls! Their house was great... but we're now counting our blessings because they have to share 2 bathrooms for SEVEN girls, and we have 4 bathrooms! Phew. Anyway, we did a lot of exploring Atlanta - walked around downtown, got coffee at Morehouse College, sat and played at Piedmont Park, and spent time at the MLK memorial. Then, on Saturday night, the South Dakota, Mobile, and New Orleans communities also drove to Atlanta for our JVC Cinco De Mayo party! It was incredible catching up with my JV friends that I haven't seen for a few months - I had missed them! So, since we're crazy, we had to wake up at 5am and drive 15 HOURS back to San Antonio the next day. And, amazingly, we survived!


Now, I'm just getting back into the swing of things at work, and realizing that it's time to ACTUALLY start thinking about next year. Updates on THAT in my next blog entry.


I love you all, and miss you very much.
Thank you for keeping me in your prayers... you all are constantly and continuously in mine.


Peace, love, and grace,
Kelsey